The Bro!

lmao on this idea!

The Bro:
ARTICLE 1

Bro's before ho's



-The bond between two men is stronger than the bond between a man and a woman
because, on average, men are stronger than women. That's just science.



ARTICLE 2

A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his
Bros are all doing it.



ARTICLE 3

If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full-grown.



-Naming a lapdog after a pro wrestler or a character from a Steve McQueen movie
does not absolve a Bro from the spirit of this article.



ARTICLE 4

A Bro never divulges the existence of the Bro Code to a woman. It is a sacred
document not to be shared with chicks for any reason...no not even that reason.



-If you are a woman reading this, first, let me apologize: it was never my
intention for this book to contain so much math.



ARTICLE 5

Whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports



ARTICLE 6

A Bro shall not lollygag if he must get naked in front of other Bros in a gym
locker room



-If a Bro gets naked in the locker room, all other Bros shall pretend that
nothing out of the ordinary is happening while, at the same time, immediately
averting their eyes. When in doubt, remember the old adage: "If a towel
drops to the floor, so should your eyes."



ARTICLE 7

A Bro never admits he can't drive stick. Even after an accident



ARTICLE 8

A Bro never sends a gretting card to another Bro

(see diagram)



ARTICLE 9

Shold a Bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness, his fellow Bros
will not make lame jokes such as "Gimme three!" or "Wow,
quitting your job like that really took alot of ball." It's still a high
five and that Bro still has allot of balls...metaphorically speaking, of
course.



ARTICLE 10

A Bro will drop what ever he's doing to rush to help his Bro dump a chick.



-side-Bro: How to dump a chick in six words or less

"Maybe try a side salad instead."

"Cute! You're growing a mustache, too!"

"She looks like a younger you."

"I will finance a boob job."

"Sorry I threw out your shoes."

"Your sister let me do that."



ARTICLE 11

A Bro may ask his Bro(s) to help him move, but only after first disclosing an
honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large pieces of
furniture. If the Bro has vastly underestimated either, his Bro retain the
right to leave his possessions where they are-in most cases, stuck in a
doorway.



ARTICLE 12

Bros do not share desert.



ARTICLE 13

All Bros shalldub one of their Bros wingman.

(see diagram)



ARTICLE 14

If a chick inquires about another Bro's sexual history, a Bro shall honor the
Brode of Silence and play dumb. Better to have women think all men are stupid
than to tell the truth.



ARTICLE 15

A Bro never dances with his hands above his head.



ARTICLE 16

A Bro should be able, at any time, to recite the following reigning champions:
Super Bowl, World Series, and Playmate of the Year.



ARTICLE 17

A Bro shall be kind and courteos to his co-workers, unless they are beneath him
on the pyramid of screaming.

(see diagram)



ARTICLE 18

If a Bro spearheads a beer run at a party, he is entitled to any axcess monies
accrued after convassing the group.



-To avoid confrontation, it's a good idea for the bro to jettison the receipt
before returning to the party



ARTICLE 19

A Bro shall not sleep with another Bro's sister. However, a Bro shall not get
angry if another Bro says, "Dude, sister's hot!"



ARTICLE 20

A Bro respects his Bros in the military because they've selflessly chosen to
defend the nation, but more to the point, because they can kick his ass six
ways to Sunday



ARTICLE 21

A Bro never shares observations about another Bro's smoking hot girlfriend.
Even if the Bro with the hot girlfriend attempts to bait the Bro by saying,
"She's smoking-hot, huh?" a Bro shall remain silent, because in this
situation, he's the only one who should be baiting.



ARTICLE 22

There is no law that prohibits a woman from bing a Bro.



- Women make excellent Bros. Why? Because they can translate and navigate the
confusing and contradictory whims that compise the chick code.



ARTICLE 23

When flipping through T channels with his Bros, a Bro is not allowed to skip
past a program featuring boobs. This includes, but is not limited to, exercise
shows, women's athletics, and on some occasions, surgery programs.



ARTICLE 24

When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6
o'clock. Al other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.



ARTICLE 25

A Bro doesn't let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girl's
name.



- The average relationship between a man and a woman lasts eighty-three days.
The relationship between a man and his skin lasts a lifetime and must be
nurtured, ebcause as we all know, the skin is the largest and second most
important organ a man has.



ARTICLE 26

Unless he has children, a Bro shall not wear his cell phone on his belt clip.



ARTICLE 27

A Bro never removes his shirt in front of other Bros, unless at a resort pool
or the beach.



ARTICLE 28

A Bro will, in a temely manner, alert his Bro to the existance of a girl fight.



- A Bro must, in a timely manner, communicate the possibility of fisticoffs
between two humans of the female variety (Henceforth "girl fight"),
in an effot to make possibleand probable that another Bro or Bros can partake
in observation. A "timely manner" is open to interpretation based on
the initial Bro's viewing and processing of the potential feminine
conflagration. Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at
his disposal, including but not limited to: telecommunications, elbow nudging,
carrier piggions, fiber optics, shouting, postcards, and telepathy. If an
informed Bro is unable to witness the girl fight firsthand, the spotter Bro is
responsible for documenting and relating details of the girl fight via
pictures, video, or, barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance
and/or pantomime



ARTICLE 29

If two Bros decide to catch a movie together, they may not attend a screening
that begins after 4:40 PM. Also, despite the cost savings, they shall not split
a tub of popcorn, choosing instead to procure individual bags.



ARTICLE 30

A Bro doesn't comparison shop



ARTICLE 31

When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you never
know.



ARTICLE 32

A Bro doesn't allow another Bro to get married until he's at least thirty.



ARTICLE 33

When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the
urinal; (2) makes the obligatory comment, "What is this, a chicks's
restroom?" if there are more than two dudes waiting to wee; and (3)
attempts to shoot his used paper towel into the trash can like a
basketball...rebounding is optional.



ARTICLE 34

Bros cannot make eye contact during a devil's threeway.



ARTICLE 35

A Bro never rents a chick flick



ARTICLE 36

When questioned in the company of women, a Bro always decries fake breasts.



ARTICLE 37

A Bro is under no obligation to open the door for anyone. If women insist of
having their own professional basketball league, then they can open their own
doors. Honestly, they're not that heavy.



ARTICLE 38

Even in a fight to the death, a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.



ARTICLE 39

When a Bro gets a chick's number, he waits at least ninety-six hours before
calling her.



ARTICLE 40

Should a Bro become stricken wit engagment, his Bros shall stage an
intervention and attempt to heal him. This is more commonly known as "a
bachelor party."



ARTICLE 41

A Bro never cries

Exeptions: Watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or a sports legend retire. (applies
only to the first time he retires.)



ARTICLE 42

Upon greeting another Bro, a Bro may engage in a high five, fist bump, or Bro
hug, but never a full embrace



ARTICLE 43

A Bro loves his country, unless that country isn't america.



ARTICLE 44

A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro

Exception: If the Bros are within 7 degrees latitude of the equator.



ARTICLE 45

A Bro never wears jeans to a strip club.



Why?

1. Cloth pockets are roomier and more elastic, allowing for a thicker wad of
cash.



2. Denim clashes with a club's leopard, zebra, or other other safari animal
motif.



3. One word, two syllables, three hours in the ER: zipper.



4. It's a performance and deserves respect. These erotic dancers have practiced
tirelessly on a technically demanding piece of choreographed art. Would you
wear dungarees to a ballet? (Trick question. Bros don't watch ballet.)



5. You don't feel it as much on the kazoo.



ARTICLE 46

If a Bro is seated next to some dude who's stuck in the middle seat on an
airplane, he shall yield him all of their shared armrest, unless the dude has
(a) taken his shoes off, (b) is snoring, (c) makes the Bro get up more than
once to use the lavatory, or (d) purchased headphones after they announced the
in-flight movie is 27 Dresses. See Artical 35.



ARTICLE 47

A Bro never wears pink. Not even in Europe.



ARTICLE 48

A Bro never publicly revlears how many chicks he's banged.



ARTICLE 49

When asked, "Do you need some help?" a Bro shall automatically
respond, "I got it," whether or not he's actualy got it.

Exeptions: Carrying an expencive TV, parallel parking an expensive car, loading
an expensive TV into an expensive car



ARTICLE 50

If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro's undercarriage with his arm
while walking, both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never happend.



ARTICLE 51

A Bro checks out another Bro's blind date and reports back with a thumbs-up or
thumbs-down



ARTICLE 52

A Bro is never required to remember another Bro's birthday, though a phone call
every now and again probably wouldn't kill him.



ARTICLE 53

Even in a drought, a Bro flushes twice.



ARTICLE 54

A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Patty's day and other official
Bro holidays, including Halloween, New Years Eve, and Desperation Day (February
13).



ARTICLE 55

Even in an emergency that requires a tourniquet, a Bro never borrows from or
lends clothes to another Bro.



ARTICLE 56

A Bro is required to alert another Bro if the Bro/Chick Ratio at a party falls
between 1L1. However, to avoid Broflation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one
Bro. Further, a Bro may not speculate on the anticipated Bro/Chick Ratio of a
party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.



ARTICLE 57

A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting game to another Bro unless that Bro
has thrice confirmed he wants to hear it



ARTICLE 58

A Bro doens't grow a mustache.

Exception: When shaving, it's more than okay for a Bro to keep the whiskers
around his mouth until the end so that he might temporarily experiment with
different facial hair configurations

Exception: Tom Selleck.



ARTICLE 59

A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it's out of state or, like,
crazy expensive



-When is bail crazy expensive?

Crazy expencive bail>(years you've been Bros) x $100



ARTICLE 60

A Bro shal honor thy father and mother, for they were ones Bro and chick.
However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.



ARTICLE 61

If a Bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro's anniversary with
a chick, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro,
regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows



-Chicks seem to think annual events other than Mardi Gras, the NFL Draft, and
the day the swimsuit edition comes out are worthy of celebration. I don't know
why, either, but I do know if you become involved with a woman for more than a
the occasional toss in the hay (which is expressly not advised), you'll need to
be able to recall certain days of the year with relative accuracy.



ARTICLE 62

In the even that two Bros lock on the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first
has dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten
the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the same number ten at the same time,
the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they havn't purchased
drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they're the same height,
the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spell be equal
length, a game of discreet Broshamboo* shall determine dibs, provided the chick
is still there.



*Rock, paper, scissors for Bros.



ARTICLE 63

A Bro will make any and all efforts to provide his Bro wit protection.



-Brotection forms a central pillar--or, more acurately, a latex coating for the
central pillar--of the Bro way of life. While a Bro is not legally or fiscally
responsible for any repercussions of failing to provide protection, it's not
uncommon for a Bro to experience pangs of guilt after a fellow Bro becomes
infected with a dissease, many of which can last an entire lifetime, like when
a Bro contracts children.



ARTICLE 64

A Bro must provide his Bro with a ticket to an event if said event involves the
latter Bro's favorite sports team in a playoff scenario



ARTICLE 65

A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks among Bros.

Exception: A Bro is off the hook if his Bro orders a drink that arrives with an
umbrella in it.



ARTICLE 66

If a Bro suffers pain due to permanent dissolution of a relationshp with a lady
friend, his Bro shall offer no more than a "that sucks , man" and
popious quantities of beer. To eliminate the possibility of any akward moments
in the future, his Bro shall also refrain from any pejorative
commentary--deserved or not--regarding said lady friend for a period of three
months, when requisite backslide window has fully closed.



ARTICLE 67

Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro
shall point out he is a tool.



ARTICLE 68

If a Bro be on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure
its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own personal records, the
missing of work, or, if necessary, generating a realistic frear that the end of
the world is imminent

Exeptions: Dry spell trumps hot streak



ARTICLE 69

Duh.



ARTICLE 70

A Bro will drive anoter Bro to the airport of pick him up, but never both for
the same trip. He is not expected to be on time, help with luggage, or inquire
about his Bro's trip or general well-being.



ARTICLE 71

As courtesy to Bros the world over, a Bro never brings more than two other Bros
to a party



Three Bros are Cool

-three amigos

-Three musketeers

-The police

-Apollow 13 astronauts

-three stooges

(exeption: Hanson)



Four Bros are lame

-Mount rushmore

-The fantastic Four

-the monkees

-Olympic bobsled team

-Micheal jordan's teamates

(exeption: the beatles)



ARTICLE 72

A Bro never spell checks.



ARTICLE 73

When a group of Bros are in a restaurant, each shall engage in the time-honored
ritual of jockeying to pay the bill, regardless of affordability. When the
group ultimately dicides to divide the check, each Bro shall act upset rather
than enormously relieved.



ARTICLE 74

At a red light, a Bro inches as close as possible to the rear bumber of the car
in front of him, and then immediately honks his horn when the light turns
green. That way, if another Bro is several cars behind, he'll have a better
chance of making it through the intersextion before the light turns red again



ARTICLE 75

A Bro automaticaly enhances another Bro's job description when introducing him
to a chick.



- Chicks like to stretch the truth about their age, promiscuity, and
sometimes--with the help of extensive makeup and structural lingerie--even
their body shape. As such, it's fair game for Bros to exaggerate reality when
asked about their Brofession. It's also smart: a Bro's career is to a chick
what a chicks boobs are to a Bro.



ARTICLE 76

If a Bro is on the phone with a chick while in front of his Bros and ,for
whatever reason, desires to say "I love you," he shall first excuse
himself from the room or employ a subsonic, Berry White-esque tone.



ARTICLE 77

Bros don't cuddle



ARTICLE 78

A Bro shal never rack jack* his wingman.

*To steal your wingman's chick. Big-time no-no



-To commemorate and solidify the unbreakable bond between Bro and wingman, it
is recommended that before going out, each face the other, place his left hand
on The Bro Code, raise his right hand, and recites the Wingman Pledge.



The Wingman Pledge

I shall uphold the Bro Code to the fullest of my ability

I will never allow my wingman to go home with less than a six.

I agree to swap rounds of drinks with my wingman, even if I keep getting stuck paying
for shots.

I will never rack jack my wingman, no matter how hot the chick.

I pledge to never leave a wingman behind when invited to a party.

If my wingman meets a hot chick with an ugly friend, I will 'jump on the
grenade'.

If my wingman gets rejected by a chick, I shall unequivocally agree that she
sucked anyway, even if I thought she seemed kind of cool and interesting.

Should my wingman strike up a conversation with a chick of a questionable legal
age, I will endeavor to ascertain and verify her birth of date.

If I discover evidence that my wingman's chick is in a relationship, I shall
make that information available to him, unless it's pretty clear the boyfriend
/husband isn't there.

I shall honor and respect the dibs system.



ARTICLE 79

At a wedding, Bros shall reluctantly trudge out for the garter toss and feign
interest for the benefit of the chicks present. Whichever Bro gets stuck with
the garter shall lightheartedly pretend he's not horrified at the thought of
being the next one to drop before scurrying to the bar for a very stiff drink
and/or shots*

*Open bar only



-If a Bro's date should catch the bouquet, he shall act excited (if he wishes
to sleep with her ever again) before scurrying to the bar to join the garter
Bro for a very stiff drink and/or shots.



ARTICLE 80

A Bro shall make every effort to aid another Bro in riding the tricycle*, short
of completing the tricycle himself.



Rules for Riding the Tricycle

1. The aggregate age of all three participants shall not exceed eighty-three
years.

2. The aggregate weight of all three participants shall be less than 400
pounds/181.44kg.

3No money or other considerations may be exchanged for services rendered.

4. Pregnant woman shall consult with their physician before riding the tricycle

5. No wheel of the tricycle shall be within three branches of another's family
tree.

6. No black-soled sneakers

7. Female participants shall refrain from destroying the illusion that this is
new to them.

8. Kitchen appliances and other electrical devices are strictly forbidden.

9. Participants must shower before riding the tricycle, and definitely after.



ARTICLE 81

A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.



ARTICLE 82

If two Bros get into a heated argument over something and one says something
out of line, the other shall not expect him to 'take it back' or 'apologize' to
make amends. That's inhuman.



ARTICLE 83

A Bro shall, at all costs, honor the Platinum Rule: Never, ever, ever, ever
'love' thy neightbor. In particular, a Bro shall never mix it up romantically
with a co-worker



Exeptions

- Co-worker is an eight or better

- You are co-worder's superior

- Co-worker dresses a little slutty

- Getting fired from job not such a bad thing

- Company recently sued for sexual harassment--unlikely to happen again

- Someone makes a bet that you can't

- You are switching floors soon

- You and co-worker get stuck in elevator

-You hit the emergency button and get 'stuck' in the elevator with co-worker

- Co-worker going to be fired, or soon will be, after you sabotoge co-worker's
files

-You mixed it up with co-worker before becomming co-workers

- Co-worker hits on you

- You are in a little bit of a rut, romantically speaking

- Co-worker going through divorce

- Co-worker looking pretty good lately

- Co-worker not offended when you 'accidentally' e-mail provocative pictures of
self to office



ARTICLE 84

A Bro shall stop whatever he's doing and watch Die Hard if it's on TV.

-Ditto The Shawshank Redemption

-Also Top Gun, The Big Lebowski, and the first half of Full Metal Jacket



ARTICLE 85

If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to
his Bros.

-His Bros are required to whistle, even if they have no idea what they're
whisting at.



ARTICLE 86

When a Bro meets a chick, he shall endeavor to find out where she fits on the
Hot/Crazy Scale before pursuing her.



ARTICLE 87

A Bro never questions another Bro's stated golf score, maximum bench press, or
height. He can, however, ask the Bro to prove it, traditionally in the form of
a wager.



ARTICLE 88

If a Bro, for whatever reason, must drive another Bro's car, he shall not
adjust the preprogrammed radio stations, the mirrors, or the seat position,
even if this last requirment results in the Bro trying to drive the vehicle as
a gaint praying mantis would.



ARTICLE 89

A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro.

- When out and about, you must be prepared to affirm anything a Bro tells a
chick. 'Yes, he's single.' 'Yes, we're Navy SEALs.' 'Yes, he invented
Facebook.' While this usually entails a stretching the truth about personal
wealth, athletic prowess, or the ability to operate various aircraft, on
occation you'll be required to pretend you're from out of town. If you can
stomach dressing up like someone's dad, pretending to be a tourist in your own
hometown is a great way to score chicks...if you're ready with a believable
backstory.



ARTICLE 90

A Bro shows up at another Bro's party with at least one more unit of alcohol
than he plans to drink. So if a Bro plans on chugging a six-pack, he shall
bring a six-pack plus at least one can of beer. If the party sucks and/or there
are too many dudes, the Bro is entitled to leave with his alcohol, thougth
etiquette dictates he should wait until nobody is looking



ARTICLE 91

If a group of Bros suspect that their Bro is trying to give himself a nickname,
they shall rally to call him by an adjecent yet more demeaning nickname.



ARTICLE 92

A Bro keeps his booty calls at a safe distance.

-To maintain the purity of such a beautiful, impersonal, and vapid
relationship, a Bro never becomes emotionally attached to his booty call.



ARTICLE 93

Bros don't speak french to one another.



ARTICLE 94

If a Bro is in the bathroom and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may toss
him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open more
than 30 degrees



ARTICLE 95

A Bro shall alert another Bro to the presence of a chesty woman, regardless of
wether or not he knows the Bro. Such alerts may not be administered verbally



ARTICLE 96

Bros shall go camping ones a year, or at least attempt to start a fire

-Attempt to start a fire outside.



ARTICLE 97

Where a Bro went to college is going to kick his Bro's college's ass all over
the field this weekend.



ARTICLE 98

A Bro never lies to his Bros about the hotness of chicks at a given social
venue or event.



-Side-Bro: The Bro who Cried 'Hot Chicks'

There once lived a Bro who would text his Bros: 'Hot chicks in the bar
tonight" When his Bros would arrive to wingman him, he would laugh at them
for there were no hot chicks, just, like, a lot of dudes or something. The Bro
did this a couple of times because he thought it was hysterical--and it kind of
is-- until one night he walked into the bar to discover a Hawaiian Tropic
calendar shoot taking place. The Bro texted his Bros in terror: "Dudes,
seriously need a wingman right now...hot-chick calendar shoot!". But this
time his Bros paid no heed to his cry, nor did they leave their video game
marathon to assist him. The Bro tried to score at a bikini babe on his own, but
with no wingman, he was torn to pieces by the entire flock.

There is no believing a Bro who lies about hot chicks, even when he speaks the
truth.



ARTICLE 99

A Bro never asks for directions when lost.

Exceptions

-A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick who seems to know the area.

-A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if she also appears lost.

-A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if he's not lost at all.



ARTICLE 100

When pulling up to a spotlight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy
his music selection

-If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro
shall pull his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he's not wearing his
sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull them down to get a better
look.



ARTICLE 101

If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his
grave.* This is what makes them Bros, not chicks.

* And beyond, if the Bro discovers there is indeed life after death.



-A woman's lust for gossip is matched only by her passion to have babies and
accessorize. As such, a Bro should take heed when divulging a secret to a
maried Bro.



ARTICLE 102

A Bro shall take great care in selecting and training his wingman.



ARTICLE 103

A Bro never wears socks with sandals. He commits to one cohesive footgear plan
and sticks with it.



ARTICLE 104

The mom of a Bro is always off-limits. But the stepmom of a Bro is fair game if
she initiates and/or is wearing at least one article of leopart print
clothing...provided she looks good in it...but not if she smokes menthol
cigarettes.



ARTICLE 105

If a Bro not invited to another Bro's widding, he doesn't make a big deal out
of it, even if, let's face it, he was kind of responsible for setting up athe
couple and had already picked the perfect wedding gift and everything. It's
cool. No big whoop.



ARTICLE 106

Given an option on quantity when ordering a beer with his Bros, a Bro always
selects the largest size available or shall never bear the end of it that
night.



ARTICLE 107

A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging.

-Besides the obvious health hazards inherent in keeping an arm aloft for an
extended period of time, the emotional effects of leaving a Bro out to dry in
public can be devastating. If you ever see a Bro, even one you don't know,
looking around frantically wiht a paw held high in the air, throw him a Brone
and hit him up top.



ARTICLE 108

If a Bro forgets a guys name, he may call him 'bra,' 'dude,' or 'man,' but
never 'Bro.'



ARTICLE 109

When Bros attend a sporting even and see themselves on the JumboTron, they
shall purse their lips and flix their bicepts while informing the crowd that
their team is number one, despite any objective ranking to the contrary.



ARTICLE 110

If a Bro is hitting it off with a chick, his Bro shall do anythign within his
means to ensure the desired outcome.



ARTICLE 111

If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his email, the Bro
will sign out for him, but only after sending a few angry e-mails to random
contacts and then deleting the sent messages.



ARTICLE 112

A Bro doesn't sing along to music in a bar.

Exception

- A Bro may participate in karaoke

Exception to Exception

-No chick songs



ARTICLE 113

A Bro abides by the accepted age-difference formula when pursuing a younger
chick

Acceptable Age-Difference formula

x < y/2+7

--

x= chick's age; y= Bro's age



-This formula limits crafty old-timers from scooping up all the younger
hotties, while also preventing Bros from seeing a crusty old man with a hot
chick and being forced to imagine them getting in ton in their adjustable bed.



ARTICLE 114

If a Bro must crash on his Bro's couch for an extended period of time, he shal
offer to split the cost of toilet paper and cable bill if said period exceeds
two weekks. If he stays longer than a month, he shall offer to contribute some
rent. If he stays longer than two months, he shall steam clean the couch or
have it incinerated, which ever is more applicable.



ARTICLE 115

A 'clothing optional' beach doesn't really mean 'clothing optional ' for Bros.



ARTICLE 116

A Bro shall not kill another Bro or a Bro's chances to score with a chick.

-Every Bro is endowed with a right of life and a right to pursue hot chicks.
Violating either of thes God-given rights is a heinous offense that could
result in the strictest penalty reconized in the Bro Code: loss of permanent
shotgun status.



ARTICLE 117

A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control. If another
bro desires a channel change, he may verbally request one or engage in the
fool's errand of getting up to manually change the channel.

-It is fully expected a Bro will try anything to gain possession of the remote,
up to and including an attempt to flatulently smoke his Bro(s) out of the room.



ARTICLE 118

When a Bro is with his Bros, he is not a vegetarian.



ARTICLE 119

When three Bros must share the backseat of a car, it is unacceptable for any
Bro to put his arm around another Bro to increase space. Likewise, it is
unacceptable for two Bros to share a motorcycle, unless said motorcycle is
equipped with a sidecar...a Brotorcycle.



ARTICLE 120

A Bro always calls another Bro by his last name

Exception

- If a Bro's last name is also a racial epithet.



ARTICLE 121

Even if he's never skied before, a Bro doesn't trifle with the bunny slope.

-If a Bro experiences a catastrophic wipeout, he can always blame his bindings
or the 'conditions.'



ARTICLE 122

A Bro is always psyched. Always.

Classic 'Get Psyched Songs'

'you give love a bad name'- bon jovi

'i wanna rock'- twisted sister

'the humpty dance- digital underground

'don't stop believin'- journey

'you're the best around'- joe esposito

'lick it up'-kiss

'paradice city'-guns n'roses

'tom sawyer'- rush

'the transformers theme'- vince dicola with otimus prime

'dancing with myself'- billy idol

'rock you like a hurricane'- scorpions

'come sail away'- styx

'free bird' (second half only)- lynyrd skynyrd

'panama'- van halen

'jessie's girl'- rick springfield

talk dirty to me'- poison

'thunderstruck'-ac/dc

'high enough'- damn yankees

'hip hop hooray- naughty by nature

'dr. feelgood'- motley crue

'round and around'- ratt



ARTICLE 123

Two Bros shall maintian at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing
on the same floor. even when reenacting the knife fight from 'beatit, ' which,
i guess, two Bros shouldn't do anyway, or at least not very often.



ARTICLE 124

If a Bro should shoot an air ball, strike out while playing softball, or throw
a gutter ball while Browling, he is required to make some sort of excuse for
himself.



ARTICLE 125

If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro in the Bro Train, he is required to
attempt to lose him in traffic as a funny joke.



ARTICLE 126

In a scenario where two or more Bros are watching entertainment of the adult
variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching
another Bro in ANY capacity. This may include but is not limited to: the high
five, the fist bump, or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of
a no-no.



ARTICLE 127

A Bro will always help another Bro reconstruct the events from the previous
neight, unless those events entail hooking up with an ugly chick or the Bro
repeatedly saying 'i love you, man' to all his Bros.



ARTICLE 128

A Bro never wears two articles of clothing at the same time that bear the same
school name, vacation destination, or sports team. Even in a laundry emergency,
it's preferred that a Bro go out half naked rather than violate this
code...half naked from the waist up, naturally.



ARTICLE 129

If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of lawn machinery, he has
not expect to ever get it back, unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it
back to him.



ARTICLE 130

If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask
what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if
his Bro is okay.



ARTICLE 131

While a Bro is not expected to know exactly how to change a tire, he is
required to at least drag out the jack and stare at the flat for a while. If he
needs to consult the car's ownership manual to locate the jack, he shall do so
from inside the car, where he is not visible to passersby and where he can
discreetly call a tow truck, after which it is recommended that he hid the jack
by the side of the road so he'll have a legitimate excuse when the tow truck
arrives.



ARTICLE 132

If a Bro decides to let all of his Bros down and get married, he is required to
invite them to the wedding, even if this directly violates the wishes of his
fiancee and results in a 'no sex' penalty or whatever lame domestic punishment
couples might employ.



-A bride thinks of her wedding day as the happiest day of her life. A groom
thinks of his wedding day as the saddest: his marriage signifies the death of
Broing out with his Bros. But there's a simple way for the groom to send his
Bros out with a bang...bridesmaids. Squeezed into ugly identical dresses,
bridesmaids have one goal: to get out of them. Studies have shown that a
cocktail of jealousy, Bros in formal wear, and well, cocktails make a
bridesmaid one of the most accessible chicks on the planet.



ARTICLE 133

A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro.

Exeption: "Pull my finger"



ARTICLE 134

A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman.

- Since the dawn of man, Bros have spoken in hushed tones about a wingman with
powers so awesome, one wink could summon a dozen hotties to your side. I'm
speaking, of course, about the 'wingwoman'. Think of it--if your wingman
already knows what women want to hear, isn't that an advantage far greater than
having a lot of money, a full head of hair, or even a speedboat? Yes, and the
best part is that wingwomen do exist. To acquire one, though, you'll need to
overcome the sexist mesconceptions that so often scare chicks away from helping
Bros bang other chicks.



ARTICLE 135

If a scenario arises in which a Bro has promised two of his Bros permanent
shotgun, one of the following shall determine the copilot:

1. foot race to the car

2. silent auction, or in the case of a road trip exceeding 450 miles,

3. a no-holds-barred cage match to the death.



ARTICLE 136

When interrogated by a girlfriend about a bachelor party, a Bro shall offer
nothing more than an uninterested 'it was ok.'

-A Bro never brings a camera to a bachelor party. The only memento a Bro is
allowed to bring home from a bachelor party is one that can only be destroyed
by penicillin.



ARTICLE 137

When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros.



ARTICLE 138

A real Bro doesn't laugh when a guy gets hit in the groin.

Exeption: unless he doesn't know the guy.



ARTICLE 139

Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or
musical, despite the fact that yes, 'Broadway' begins with 'Bro.'



ARTICLE 140

A Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes for
a date.



The Lemon Law

The Lemon Law is a little-known dating loophole that allows a Bro to bail on
any date in the first five minutes, no questions asked. How many times has a
Bro set you up with a blind date who winds up looking like the unmasked
predator? Now, with the Llemon Law, you no longer need to sit through that kind
of torture or waste any of the Predator's time. Simply present your date with a
Lemon Law card, and you're out the door.



ARTICLE 141

A Bro can only get a manicure if (a) he's trying to sleep with the hot asian
woman performing the manicure, or (b) it's been longer than a month since last
manicure. It's called the Bro Code, not the Slob Code.



ARTICLE 142

A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to
find marker all over his face.



ARTICLE 143

When executing a high five, a Bro is forbidden from intertwining fingers or
grasping his Bro's hand



ARTICLE 144

It is unacceptable for two Bros to share a hotel bed without first exhausting
all couch, cot, and pillows-on-floor combinations. If it's still unavoidable,
they shall prevent any incidental spoonage by arm wrestling* to determine who
sleeps under the covers. Ones decided, each Bro shall don as many lower layers
as possible from silently first bumping the other good night

*Not on the bed



ARTICLE 145

A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text, or
e-mail in a timely fashion.



ARTICLE 146

A Bro refrains from using too much detail when relating sexual exploits to his
Bro



- Providing graphic detail when describing a sexual feat unconsciously forces
your Bros to picture you naked... and there's no comming back from that



ARTICLE 147

If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro's back.

Exeptions:

-If his Bro has picked a fight with a scary-looking guy.

-If this is the third fight (or more) his Bro has gotten into that week.

-If the Bro has a note from a physician exusing him from having anybody's back.



ARTICLE 148

A Bro doesn't listen to chick music...in front of other Bros. When alone, a Bro
may listen to, say, a Sarah McLachlan album or two, but only to gain valuable
insights into the female psyche, not because he finds her melodies tragically
haunting yet curiously uplifting at the same time.



ARTICLE 149

A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars



ARTICLE 150

No sex with your Bro's ex.



-It is never, ever permissible for a Bro to sleep with his Bro's ex. Violating
this code is worse than killing a Bro.

Joketime!6

Little Johnny and Susie were only 10 years old, but they just knew that they were in love. One day they decided that they wanted to get married, so Johnny went to Susie's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walked up to him and said "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replied, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replied "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith said with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie." Again, Johnny instantly replied, "Our allowance...Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that'll do us just fine." By this time Mr. Smith was a little shocked that Johnny had put so much thought into this. So, he thought for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny wouldn't have an answer for. After a second, Mr. Smith said, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, we've been lucky so far...."

Joketime!5

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This", he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."

After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.

After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth."

Joketime!4

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy; he'll service every chicken you've got. No problem."

Well , Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So , he buys Randy. The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk, " Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money and I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.

Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points towards the hen house and Randy took off like a shot ~WHAM~ He nails every hen on there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked. Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake ~WHAM~ He gets all the geese. Randy's up in the pigpen. He's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.

The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal , shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Randy opens one eye, nods towards the sky and say's , "Shhh. They're getting closer...."

Joketime!2

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

Joketime!3

There is this guy who has a 25 inch dick. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his dick smaller because he just can't please the ladies because it is just too big, he hasn't found a lady yet who likes it and he can't get any pleasure.

She tells him to go into the woods and he will find a frog when he finds the frog he is to ask it to marry him. If the frog says no, his cock will shrink 5 inches.

He goes into the woods and finds this frog. He asks "frog, will you marry me?"
The frog says "no" And his prick shrinks five inches. The guys thinks to himself, "Wow, that was pretty cool. But, it's still too big." So he goes back to the frog and again asks the frog: "Frog, will you marry me?"
Frog: "No, I won't marry you."

The guys dick shrinks another five inches. But that's still 15 inches and he thinks his chop is still just a little bit too big. But he thinks that 10 inches would be just great. He goes back to the frog and asks: "Frog, will you marry me?"

Frog: How many times do I have to tell you NO, NO, NO!!!

Joketime!

A woman in her 30's was taking her mother, who was in her 50's to the gynecologist. After dropping her mother off, she and her daughter ran a few errands, then returned to the doctor. While the older woman had her feet in the stirrups, the doctor remarked, "Don't we look pretty today", as he performed his examination. The lady was quite shocked, but said nothing.

When her daughter picked her up, she was quite upset. The Following conversation ensued:

Mother: Do you know what that doctor said to me? He said, "Don't we look pretty today", while he was looking between my legs! Do you think that was appropriate?

Daughter: No! Are you sure he wasn't referring to your hairstyle or something?

Mother: Well, it still wasn't appropriate or professional. I wonder if it could be considered sexual harassment. What do you think?

Daughter: I don't know. We're you embarrassed?

Mother: I was very embarrassed. I used some of your FDS this morning, and he may have smelled that, but I still don't think he should have commented!

Daughter: I don't have any FDS.

Mother: Why, sure you do! In the blue can that was on back of the toilet. I used some before the appointment...

Granddaughter: That's my Barbie Golden Glitter Hair Spray!

Well, i'm currently selling these

Perfect World Accts

Lvl94 YuMang (archer type)
~2k w/no eq's
4k++~ w/eq's
Lvl97 WuXia (fighter type)
~2k w/no eq's
5k++~ w/eq's

i assure you that these acct's have superb equips and stat build :)
just post a comment if you're interested :)

Popular Browser Based Games

MyBrute
- many already knows this, probly the most popular non-interactive browser game
PrisonStruggle
- stat building up to billions! interactive browser game
Estiah
- somehow like a card playing/collecting game, fight and earn money to collect more

Hey guys!i found this site that sponsors some browser games including prisonstruggle, so feel free to register and claim some rewards with just some daily click/tasks :)
GamersBoost

Online Game Sites

well..these are games i play atleast :)

ZX Online PH
- Zhuxian Online (Celestial Destroyer)
- this is much like PW but with more and better features > currently Lv6x+
PW Online PH
- Perfect World Online
- levelupgames ruined this one (lol) well..this game cost me alot of time and money(yes, RL money) crazy features, i still love this game :) > currently Lv9x+
GodsWar Online IGG
- pasttime game, it's like GranadoEspada with the AFKsystem and everything a lazy player would love hahaha! > currently Lv1x+

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